No texting after first date reddit. We talked for a while, he told me he was feeling nervous because I was "his type". This will prompt her to at least tell you if she got home ok and most women will appreciate you asking this. m. However! Since our date its practically one message a day with each message taking like 10-20 hours. Surely text should be on merit not on some rule. He might be waiting for you to text him first. Otherwise don’t. Double texting is when you send someone a text message, they don't respond for whatever set amount of time, and then sending another text message hoping they respond to that. Holy smokes, just message the dude. ADMIN MOD. No reply. Don’t include the “if not” part of the text. If you want conversation, enegage in conversation. He will want to talk to you. No answer is an answer and maybe it wasn’t a disaster, but obviously wasn’t enough to want to see you again. If you are interested post date and send a cool , non freaky text to a person you like and they don’t respond , then it’s not prolly not the text that’s the reason they don’t YES. He starts with a good morning, there is an exchange. I told him that he would be my first date since a long time. He told me that he has been seeing some women recently. I appreciate it even more when the guy will text first the same night. I teared up a bit myself as my grandfather just died of it. Welcome to r/dating_advice!. 7. We set up another date. Walked her home. Though it can work if you have already secured a second date during that first date. Date shouldve been near your place or hers. I guess I'm looking for affirmation but here it goes. should I initiate texting back and saying “I had a good time etc” or do I just assume I have Move on. 2. so obvi texting was heavier in the beginning, we would go a day without text, but we also had dates planned so we didn’t go longer than a day. Just send a confirmation text a day or two before. i know some of you guys will say “he’s probably busy!! 24 hours is not that long!” but i’m just overthinking rn. We were sitting at dinner just getting to know eachother. And that’s definitely working…look at you posting on reddit! On the other hand you can reach out too. “I had a great time!” etc. If a guy is interested, he will ask you out on a date. r/datingoverthirty. We've exchanged like 10 messages. We kissed. We shared a lot in common and ended up talking kind of deep. ' or smth in the lines of that. Understand people aren’t obligated to respond to a an average first date and tell you why they weren’t feeling it. We met up, and things went really well. Online dating is a bit of a crapshoot the girls on there are mostly looking for attention. It went pretty well. Reply reply. I find it fun to talk to guys and what not. She did say she would love more dates. true. Compliment on things they can control. Jan 19, 2023 · To prove our point here are 14 reasons why a guy doesn’t text after the first date: 1. I texted my SO non stop then after a month or two I slowly went back to my old texting habits: texting HOURS after I get the message. But yea never double text and if it’s been silence for a couple of days then it’s a no. You can know someone over text message as much as they allow you to. It's good to have that physical chemistry but physical chemistry alone isn't an indicator of a good match. The fact that we both are able to send iMessages via a Mac also makes it a lot easier, especially to shoot out a quick note during the workday. We had our second date on Tuesday. one of the important things i learnt in the past year that never text someone again if they didn't reply to your last text ,they're just NOT INTRESTED IN YOU , even if they seemed happy on the first date. Texting overkill before the first date. Seems odd to go from, charming a girl, propositioning date, acceptance of date, figuring out schedule, than nothing for 6 days until the day of the date. hi guys so i went on a really amazing first date with this guy i met on bumble, but it’s been nearly 24 hours and he still hasn’t texted me back. Ask her how the weeks treating her and then set up date 2. No Text Zone. Then just set one up, ignore any blah blah over text it’s just her excuse to reach out. We live in a day where staying in touch isn't hard or an inconvenience for anyone. That’s a win. Whether they like you or not is not dependent on the time you send a text about how you feel towards them. Then, 7 days later, he texts by sending me a meme about something we talked about on our date at 11:30 p. Do we think this is a sign he’s not interested? Thanks for your advice! 1. I am a long time user of dating apps- on and off. We meet and things went extremely well, he was super complementary and mentioned several times that he could 2) compliments are great, but don't go overboard. While it’d be nice if they did, often they won’t. No, it doesn’t come off as clingy. Laughter. They're also told to let her text first. If he waited a few days, that would be a turn off to me. texting after first date. Neverending conversations. posts about relationships longer than 6 months post go to r/relationship_advice or if you are married post to r/marriage After talking for about a day, we exchanged numbers and planned our first date, which ended up happening the next day. She gave me a kiss goodbye and said she'd text me. Well yeah, by the early stages, I mean like a handful of dates. He texted me after he got home saying that he got home safe and that he had a really great time. Then stare expectantly. Since then we have still been texting in the same sort of style but trying to contain it more so they aren’t as long. Or you'd be sending a text to me after I had been neutral/disinterested, in which case I also wouldn't mind. OP, I’m the same way. Romance/Relationships. I met this guy on The Tinder, we talked for a bit and then he went on a trip. Ideally I like to text just a little every 1 or 2 days until the date, and day before no texting except a confirmation text. Navigating dry texting after amazing 1st date. i would keep expectations low of badminton happening. Was pretty disappointed about that since I thought we connected well. Good luck out there. I (25f) have been texting with guy (29m) from an app for about a few days. I don't mind a text after a first date to say you had fun. Then the next day it's perfectly normal to follow up with a second date request. Plan 1-2 activities and then let fate do the rest. this sub is for advice about specific dating i would guess you have been ghosted but too many variables for it to be a reliable guess. They want free attention the same way a guy wants sex. I prefer to get to know each other by phone or in person. You need to show you won’t just give out free attention. It wouldn't make you less of a person if you text him first. Get it in the calendar within a week. The texting also really bothered me because I wanted to find a connection in person, where it really counts, instead of meaningless texts that hinder that in person connection. Best first date I've ever been on - No response to follow up for plans. It’s a major turn off when a guy stops texting just because we have a date planned. Especially if it went well. She cancelled our 4th date and got flaky with responding to my texts. Instead, immediately after the date you text "hey, thanks for the date, I had a great time and I hope you got home okay". I matched w him on tinder, went to his place cuz we live in the same dorm. I went on this date with this great woman, 26 years old and we had a lot in common. Reply. All 3 were great. Like 3-5 exchanges a date. Remember when you are on the first few dates, he is still virtually a stranger. Not saying you can’t text and say , thanx but no thanx but If you want to send a complimentary text send it. Soon after. MembersOnline. But according If the 1st date goes well, ask for a 2nd within a day or two. If I had a good/great date and I want to see the person again, I text the guy the night of the date when I get home. I generally wait until the next day to say something about getting together again. If not, just let it go. Afterwards she text me saying she had a good time with a heart emoji, first time she send a heart emoji. We ended up having sex after. . I plan on texting her today, but I’m just wondering in general. She was interested, texting me and then after the first date I didn’t hear from her. if she takes longer to respond, her texting becomes dry/unengaging, and she suddenly becomes "busy", its a bad sign and she might not be interested. She wasn't too happy about this and I've been trying to get back in that habit, but I don't like texting non-stop and especially after the information gathering stage. But I would say we exchange 3-4 texts per day that are well over 150 words per text. maybe 60% chance you are ghosted. He’s saying that after texting her, if she leaves him on read for 3 days then unmatch. A few days later. Ton of fun. For instance, i went out on a date about a week and a half ago. SPdoc. Met a guy on bumble recently- he's 36 if it matters. Men will stop texting as much if they've lost interest generally. Calm down. Not much you can do besides move on. It's what gives you "butterflies". I’ve been trying to put myself out there, going on dates. you can’t always tell if I’m attracted to you etc. Try to have a few guys you are interested in at the same time. I have had a great track record with this. I don’t see why him ending it seems odd to you, he may have had others thing to do today. A few texts and then arrange the date. I texted her yesterday afternoon saying I good time on our "first and second dates" and referenced another inside joke we had. If you are going to compliment physical appearance phrase it in terms of style. “Hey, yesterday was fun! I’d love to do it again :)”. If he's interested he'll text back and make plans. First date was at a karaoke bar, it went very well and at the end I kissed her and she liked That isn't what double/triple/quadruple texting is. If nothing bad happened and you had a good first date, ask for another one and build from there. We never settled on a time for the date (or confirmed the date at all really) so my message definitely warranted a response. Don’t overthink it. Later at night, he asks how was your night. But 3 days is fine ig on the off chance that some medical or family emergency came up. I would literally never agree to meet someone after 2-3 messages, and video dates are so awkward. A first date could be fantastic, but if the person made me feel bad for not being glued to my phone i always observe the post first date behavior, no matter how well i think the date went. We talked for about an hour. Apparently the best way to deal with this is to make a hand-wringing reddit post instead of manning up just long enough to type "Hey, I'm sorry, but I don't think we're a good match. He seemed way too into me for the first date, maybe flirting too much is the default for him. I managed to keep her attention till date 3 but then I noticed I was doing all the texting and planning. Yea she’s not interested. It makes me more likely to cancel it outright. attaboylass52. I usually give a buffer, like 3-4 hours before I text. I think if a guy plans, and pays, that a woman should be polite and thank the guy after the date by texting and letting him know she made it home, and to thank him for treating. Assuming there’s about a week between dates: 1. Everyone I have dated texts to follow up after the date. But someone who has feeing for you will not only talk to you in their free time but will also make time to talk to you. Conversation flowed well and almost immediately set up a date for early in the following week. Yes, he should have scheduled a 2nd date by now. Anyways I recently went on a date and didn’t receive a text back the next day. My guy friend told me to text him anyways, and we’ve been talking since. This was on Monday night since then we had no contact. it's a hard truth to accept , it took me 1 entire year to accept it. Date #2. The next day he didn't text so I texted "how are you doing, I am very sick" . tempestan99. That will help you gage their interest. Have fun, really have great conversations, but don't buy in yet at all. I asked her if she has any fears and she started crying as she’s scared of cancer and her mom just overcame the terrible disease. If she responds positively, throw a date out in the next text. He was my first date in 8 years because I was in a long term relationship and then I didn't feel like going on dates. I said the same and sent a heart emoji as well, and we haven’t spoke since. The excitement of seeing that persons name pop up on your phone also gets destroyed when you see it constantly. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report butto never text again if they didn't respond. vaxyynationn. Tl;dr, if you’re unsure whether you want a second date, don’t text him anything until you’ve made up your mind. I don't get it. Thanks for coming out, and good luck. We spoke about a lot of things, joked around, laughed, and smiled. Then, sleep on it and reach out the next day if a second date is wanted. I can see how right away may be a bit clingy so I don't do that. If he doesn't respond or it's like squeezing water from a stone, then drop it. e. Please keep the rules of r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. The coffee date ended and we went our separate ways. Yeah keep it simple and remember to play it cool. I’m 27yo/m and had a great first date with a 31yo/f. Your date was yesterday. 1. To thank her for a lovely evening, and remind her what a good time you had. •. If you split everything, and everything is equal, then just text away and ask. He'll send you "good morning" texts and want to know about your day. I have no interest in playing games. you deserve better and there's So if you were dating me, you'd either know your text was rejecting the genuine interest I had expressed at the end of our date. If she texts You at all then assume she’s reaching out to get another date going. Remember that this part should not be planned or expected. It vs. -an appreciation text after the date (that you enjoyed yourself & hope she did, too) -one or two inquiries as to her health and interests, maybe a follow-up on something brought up during the date, that sort of thing -and then, an invite to a follow-up date As for a second date, you will never know until you ask. Honestly, if you prefer communication between dates, and if a guy isn’t following through and honoring your request, then that’s a sign you guys aren’t compatible and you might want to move on. 5M subscribers in the dating_advice community. After the date he texted me that night continuing our conversation from before the date and also saying he hoped I had a good time. The contents of the messages can come across as desperate—like, if the second text was passive aggressive or anxious that the other person took a few hours to respond. ”. Like I went out with this guy for a coffee date and ordered a chai tea latte. Stop playing games and don’t let other play you too. I would initiate at least three text conversations in the week between first and second date. posts about relationships longer than 6 months post go to r/relationship_advice or if you are married post to r/marriage. Send her a funny anecdote and see how she responds. I'll keep it simple: we had a great date. You should have ended the first date with 'I had a great time & text me. Obviously having been less than a day, I'd say this is no time for an overreaction, but it Thank for a great evening, I had a lot of fun!”. You get over it by just moving on, only spoke for a week Great first date ended in a kiss, but no text or call. At the same time. And someone has to play this manipulation games to get your attention they are not worth it. +1000 if a guy sets up a date and does not talk to me from the day we set up a date to the actual date, I would end up overthink that he is straight up not interested in me💀. it’s not unusual to not text immediately after a date. The 2 times this has happened, we met on Tinder and let’s be real, they weren’t putting much effort before we even met, so it wasn’t a big loss. The next day he sent me a picture of a chai tea latte he ordered saying "made me think of you :)" 2. Feb 20, 2024 · The fact is, there is no exact science when it comes to knowing when is reasonable to expect a text — it depends on the person’s schedule, obligations, habits, and intentions. Seems like she had some sort of interest. Nice! As far as actual advice for OP, the rule of thumb is to wait a couple of days after the first date cos she might text you first which makes it easier for you especially if you initiated the date. dont be surprised if she is claims to be too busy to go. If you feel like texting, saying something, then go for it. • 2 yr. We decided to go out to a rooftop bar on Sunday and he picked up me from my place. Casually talking about dating and personality stuff. And for a guy that hates texting, that is really annoying. I Need Advice 😩. Three separate initiated messages in one day. Text him if you want to. Great date and never hear back from her, happened more than once now. Then the invite gives a shot at the pants party. posts about relationships longer than 6 months post go to r/relationship_advice or if you are married post to r/marriage We generally respond to each other in 30-60 minutes, but you may get an immediate response, or it might be 4-6 hours without a response. I went on what I thought was a good first date last night (we had a kiss, held hands etc) and spoke about meeting again but I never got a “have you got home ok?” text from the guy. r/dating_advice. We had a ton of similarities. Leave out the whole "Good luck with everything" part and say that only if she turns you down for date 2. I like to compliment activities, hobbies, or adventures. Tbh 1 day of being left on read should be enough to know, nobody’s too busy to send one reply in 24 hours. If your pattern of texting prior to the date has been every day, then he may not be interested. Date seemed like it went really well, lots of conversation and we laughed a lot. We talked almost all night with slight akward pauses like you would expect when first meeting someone. If at any point the person is hesitant, I just bounce. I was the same as your boyfriend. Double texting by itself isn’t an issue. We talked about hanging out together. Once you do, you can text him something that clearly signals your intentions. On the next morning, I received a text message from her. If that happens then awesome. In fact, he'll go out of his way to schedule time together. I maybe got bad dating advice once that I should never text a guy after a date. That's traditional. She was upset because I didn't text her on the evening of our coffee date to let her know that I had a Others may recommend something different but personally: I recommend only using texting to set up the logistics and then texting the day before/day of to confirm. I forgot about him, he responded 2 weeks later and I asked him for When first meeting someone, the connection you feel is likely brain chemicals, aka hormones, serotonin, dopamine, etc. This was our introductory in-person meeting. Some female perspective would be nice. My perspective as a 50m seeking a long-term, monogamous relationship: How much I text you at first has nothing to do with my level of interest. Got a text after saying he really enjoyed meeting me and looking forward to see me again. Now if the girl wants, she can ask for a date in a couple days. He could just be a shitty texter. If a guy wants to see you, he'll ask you out. I don’t think texting little is inherently a sign of disinterest if they make effort to see you. this sub is for advice about specific dating situations not general debates. Both of us are males, 30 years old. Try to get to know them and look for real compatibility and see if there's any obvious red flags. Initial physical attraction feels like that. If it’s important to you, let him know. In some cases that's true. On the first date , or the first real conversation. The text the next morning shows you're definitely interested and that you are eager to go out again. If you don’t know one another quite well then there might be a clash of ideas and priorities once you meet in person. 4. Then he texts early afternoon, what are your plans for the day, there's an exchange of conversation and again it dies down. However I find it hard to not to overthink it when a guy doesn’t text me after a first date. Purposely make it short (tell them up front you can only stick around an hour or so, make an excuse). Waiting games like that are stupid and only invite unnecessary drama. • 6 yr. : r/AskMen. However if I'm not 100% sure how interested I am, or if I'm not interested at all, then it Guys are often taught that if they text a woman first after a date, they come across as needy. None of this would bother me since I try to leave a lot in the guy's court for the first two dates. If they ask for one you should reply, “let’s sleep on it. For heaven's sake, texting just boring small talk every 2-3 days is a surefire mood killer for most women. Some people will follow up with a “had a great time” or “just got home” text but that doesn’t really indicate much. But it truly just depends on the person - everyone has a different opinion on this. -1. It would be a shame if you felt bad and left just because he was so busy and didn’t realize. Depends if the guy really impressed you. I had a great first date, but haven't heard from him in 3 days. You need to build some rapport. Ask for a second date. Again, no reply. Texting after first date. I went on a date with him Friday night, its Sunday night now and I still havent recieved a text. If he doesn't text you back, that would make things clear. Similar thing happened to me. If you enjoyed your time together, tell him. No response, but then I saw she was logged into her OKCupid later that night. If she doesn’t text you then after 3-5 days text her that you had a great time and that you’d love to meet up again and when I personally am not a fan of frequent texting until after the 3rd date or so. Read the book 10-15 times. You are 25. If they prefer call/vidchat, then after that, suggest a date in-person. This guy and I have been texting each other every day on Instagram for a month and a half, and we decided to meet up and go on a date. Tell them you're actually gay but straight for pay. I make it clear, not in a rude way, that i am a fan of texting a bunch. You have a date scheduled. I stopped texting after dates, the ones that were interested always texted. Go ahead and text him and let him know you would like to see him again. Met this guy off tinder a couple of days ago and the first few days we were really hitting it off thru text. Movie dates - you gotta talk to her on the first date. major92653. In your case, I would advise texting him just to say you had a good time. If you get rejected, so what - it probably won't be the last time. Took the night off work for a date and it ended awfully. After a while on dating apps, texting is just a waste of time. Try your best to be kind. Went out on a date with a guy and we had a really nice time, laughed a lot, great conversation, and at the end of the night he kissed me - twice. Just text him Don't text for 3 weeks and reveal so much before you meet. In my experience, even if a woman is into you she won't start to initiate much (if any) texting until after date 3 or 4, thus leaving it up to the guy to dictate pace. He'll flirt with you and try and make you feel good/desired. 24 hours later, I figure she might have forgotten to reply and since it was a bit of a time-sensitive text it might have been awkward for her to reply a day later, so I send another text Friday afternoon saying it would be great to see her again, and if she's free for dinner in the next few days. If I'm really into a guy I definitely don't mind that, if I reciprocate those feelings etc. Also he told me all his exes are older women (like 10 years older). I keep it short and sweet - I thank him for dinner/drinks and I let him know that we should do it again sometime soon. Haven't heard anything from this guy in 4 days, but he hasn't unmatched me on Bumble or deleted me as a contact (from what I can tell on Whatsapp). cooldude1393. 3. No Texting Between Dates. [deleted] • 5 yr. You can’t control how the other person responds. He’s not saying to wait 3 days to text her after the date. 1 or 2 on a first date should set you up nicely. SluttyNeighborGal. And either is totally ok. Date #3. Conversation dies down. The girl sends a text the next day telling him she had a wonderful time on the date and really hopes to hear from him again soon. II’ll text after the date and say thanks for going out, had a good time - even if I don’t want to pursue. We didn’t text at all for 5 days, and just sent a confirmation text the day before we would meet. I'm a 29 year old female. If she doesn't like your excitement and how you express it, you wouldn't get along in the long term. Had a first date, it went great, we went for coffee and ended up spending almost all day together. Again, throw out a specific date/time. The caveat is that if either person had fun and liked the other, both should text and say so as soon as they get home. " and hit Send. Less than 24 hours. Over the course of the last 2 weeks, we have had 3 dates. I did notice in the 4 days that we messaged before meeting up that his messaging style was to only message 1-2 times a day but when he did it would be a thorough response with 3-4 messages that were longer and very Texting after a first date I went on a first date with someone and I thought we hit it off quite well but it’s been radio silence on text. Not once awkward. ago. Texting after a first date. In my experience 9/10 those hours texting that person don’t lead anywhere once you meet in person and they’re not what you were looking for, vice versa. Wait 3-5 days to see if she reaches out. I would say erring on the side of caution would look like not texting too frequently but checking in a few times. There really are only four types first date activities to avoid: Anything at your or her place - self explanatory. Yes. Once you started seeing each other after the 3rd, 4th date maybe, maybe text something in between that reminded you of them, or a joke. At the end of each date if it goes well ask for a number if you don’t already have it. And on the other hand if someone is not willing to text first they are not meant to be together. As a person who often has a busy and demanding job, it’s actually easy for 24 hours to go by without me texting people i care about and I don’t even notice. Focus on having fun, but retain boundaries. That’s a recipe to make him think you want a second date. We text over the next few days (no second date planned yet, he was moving that weekend) until he stops responding mid-conversation after his move. No text back after first date. we are really young 18 & 19 in university, so our 26. If after 3 dates she hasnt unbuckled your belt, then it's time to move on. Don't text her like right when you wake up, but sometime later in the day. Be a courtesy for the first date and did it because you weren't a bad person or gave a bad impression. 5 hours getting coffee is a long enough date. If not, then you should wait 2 days to call her. If you send four text messages in a row as part of normal conversation that is not a problem. Hello, For context, I'm a 29F, he's a 31M. hard to say cuz we only met 2 weeks ago. We met without much chatting as few words we exchanged were nice and I have no time for pen-pals. Then you both have something you can flirt or chat about in the days leading up to it, keeping the chemistry going. •• Edited. Sometimes I get told I don’t give much away I. Texting is for the kids. There were no signs that he was disinterested or uncomfortable. Movie first dates are for 16 year olds. But usually the guy asks for the coffee date, then the official next date.
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